


This is why i should never leave my house

by orphan_account



Category: Me and my friends
Genre: Black Veil Brides - Freeform, Cosplay, Doctor Who References, F/F, Gen, Homestuck - Freeform, Homestuck References, MOG HANDHOLDING, Weird inside jokes, actual stuff thats actually happened, cursing, doctor who - Freeform, hiding in a tunnel slide, music references, teenagers being teenagers, threats to shove cacti up asses, welcome to nightvale - Freeform, who put the fork in the garbage disposal?, wtnv references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 02:22:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4504203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the antics of 3/4 teenagers who are (mostly) about as straight as a gay porno, seriously. they tell eachother about their (mostly) troubled pasts including, but not limited to: drugs, depression, abuse, and poverty. they hide in a childrens tunnel slide even though all but one of them is much to big for it (billys like 4 feet tall) and they end up cramped in to usually impossible positions. they laugh, they cry, and they come out to eachother. and it all takes place at the neighborhoods small park.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is why i should never leave my house

**Author's Note:**

> this is a (mostly) nonfictional work. the only things ive changed are surnames and addresses, because creepy pedophiles are creepy.

they were kind of stuck, and i guess it would be a funny thing to see. cat was basically on top of hev, and billy was diving headfirst into the booty. the tunnel slide was obviously made for small children, but teenagers didnt seem to care as phrases like 'alie has a losse pussy' and 'fuck you bitch' were carved into the green plastic of the tube. the sun was hot, beating down on them when they were on the swings, even though the park was completely shaded by towering pine and oak trees. it was easily 100°f outside, and it was one of the rare occasions where billy was willing to take of his shirt and show his scrawny chest and cat was okay with wearing her shorts even though she was overweight. hev still wore her jeans and teeshirt, seemingly unaffected by the heat and not caring. cat complained loudly that "even though its hot and gross doesnt mean that you dont have to hold my hand, missy" billy decided to interject, yelling "HEY MY BITCHES LETS LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC" this time, hev piped up "youre gonna make us listen to in the end again, arent you?" she asked the tiny boy. "noooo..." he said unlocking his phone and staring at cat for support. her look basically said "yo bruh its a good song n all but listening to it over n over is fkn annoying" he sighed in defeat and typed on the name of one of cat and hevs favorite songs instead. suddenly, clint eastwood by gorillaz was blaring out of the phones shitty speakers and the girls were singing loudly. billy had only ever heard the song on one other occasion, and it had to have been years prior and he knew none of the lyrics. hev stopped singing to say "dudes we could go sit in the slide" so they did. then they played dare or dare and cat was supposed to kiss hev, but she didnt want to do anything the other girl didnt want to do.

then, they were packed into the tube and all anyone could smell was billys perfume and cats gross odor from her job as a farmhand. cat was on the end, as was customary, and hev was in the middle, with billy leaning his 70 pounds of skin and bones - no fat or muscle, honestly - against the girls. he actually liked dressing as a girl and wearing makeup and being refered to as 'she', but he was a minor and there for couldnt moveaway from his homophobic and transphobic parents. they kind of had a right to be scared of homosexuals, though. some were downright terrifying. like cat. she may collect snowmen and act really girly at times, but insult her friends or gurlfrond and shed literally tear your head off your neck. she was vicious. hev and billy on the other hand, were slightly less nightmarish but still a bit scary. the trio shared the same dark sense of humor and (mostly) the same taste in music, but hev liked edm, cat liked indie stuff, and billy liked country, but they could all agree that most heavy metal was fucking perfect. hev complained that sitting in the middle would make her sweat, but cat retorted that she never even sweats to begin with. billy laughed and flicked hev on the cheek. "no," cat began, "only i can do that to her" she flicked the other girl on the cheek. they got into a flicking war. about an hour of banter later, they all had to go thir seperate ways as cat had therapy, hev had curfew, and billy had to feed he and cats turtle baby, todd gamzee everton, who they kept at the small boys house as cats parents complained that they wouldnt have room for a turtle at home because of cats five sibilings and dog. hev just didnt need to be any more grounded than she already was, as her father had taken her ds away for breaking curfew the week before. billy would hate having to watch todd and his turtle porn empire collapse because said hugh heffner of turtles was dying of hunger. then, the sun set and none of the went to sleep.


End file.
